


Holy Matrimony

by katsudontfeedthepiggy



Series: Roanapur Daily [1]
Category: Black Lagoon
Genre: Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 08:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5241977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katsudontfeedthepiggy/pseuds/katsudontfeedthepiggy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set of drabbles written on a coffee overdose. Crack on crack. Please read and smile. Rated for Roanapur of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holy Matrimony

**Author's Note:**

> I have a feeling I use Revy too much but anyway here's another one. I hope the cast of Black Lagoon forgives me for another totally random situation. Oh by the way this is gonna be a series of oneshots. I have nothing against Dutch but I absolutely love Benny.
> 
> Disclaimer: Me not own You not sue.

Lately Revy had been feeling very odd. Roanapur was turning into a Looney bin. She could feel it in her gut.

It all started on a Thursday, three days back. Eda and Yolanda had been complaining about some of Rowans girls showing up in the church wanting to take up oath, Shenhua now spoke like an English noble and Rowan had become a priest.

But what had shocked her, or for that matter everyone in Roanapur was this;

DUTCH was finally getting MARRIED.

So here she was, cursing herself and the situation, wondering why she ever agreed to this.

She sighed as she shifted her cream frilly headband. There was no way she would have said yes to wearing the whole god-damned outfit. Even the headband was there because of Balalaika's Stechniken.

Today was Sunday. Dutch wanted to do this on a Sunday. Everyone was seated outside the church of violence. They would have done it inside but the bride was being difficult.

Yeah right!

In one dark and gloomy corner stood Sawyer, looking just as creepy in a dark purple gown, her chainsaw at the ready, not that her part was anywhere near yet. In the front row sat the leaders of the major crime cartels of Roanapur. Balalaika seemed to be enjoying herself with Chang. She looked stunning as always in a maroon evening gown and mink. Chang leaned over to her and whispered something in her ear causing her to blush.

Revy shivered and tore her gaze away to look at Dutch who was blushing happily, dressed in a tuxedo and his ever-present glasses. Rowan stood next to Dutch in his new priest robes. Disgusted she turned to Benny, who was asking her something.

"What?" she asked, a little dazed. Benny looked at her with a face that could give a carrot a complex.

"Do you think I should have shaved my legs?" he asked while fixing his own cream skirt.

Revy really wished she was dreaming.

Suddenly the music started playing and everyone turned to look at the bride. Cue for Revy and Benny to do their job as the maids of honor. The bride looked beautiful if Balalaika was to be believed. She had to almost be dragged to the altar.

She noticed Dutch straighten up and smile while Rock gushed happily while standing next to him. And she thought Rock was sane.

Finally with the bride now at the altar, the ceremony began. Everyone was smiling; some was crying tears of joy. All in all everyone was happy. Revy wondered if she was the only sane human around here.

Dutch looked at Revy, who somehow managed to give him a horribly strained smile.

Soon Rowan asked the crowd if anyone objected to this HOLY union. Before anyone could say a word the roar of a chainsaw cut through the air effectively silencing anyone who dared to speak.

Sawyer had done her job well. Rock gave her a thumbs-up.

Finally the rings were exchanged and Dutch kissed his bride before leaving for their honeymoon in Hawaii. Half the crowd was sniffling.

"C'mon everyone lets celebrate at the Yellow Flag." Chang laughed happily," The drinks are on me." Everyone cheered.

"Ah! Young love." Rock smiled.

Fuck! Young love? Between a fifty something man and a world war II PT boat? Revy didn't think so.

Aren't you coming Revy?" Rock asked as Revy sullenly searched for a puddle to drown herself in.

"Nah Rock. I'm never drinking again."


End file.
